Confidence isn’t something you’re simply born with—it’s a skill, a mindset, and, most importantly, a result of consistent action. Developing unshakable confidence requires daily habits that reinforce your belief in yourself and your abilities. But how do we cultivate this elusive quality? In this blog post, we’ll explore actionable daily habits that can help you build and maintain a strong sense of confidence. Whether in your career, relationships, or personal growth, these habits will serve as a solid foundation for unshakable self-assurance.
As we dive into each habit, I’ll share inspiring real-life stories, offer thought-provoking questions for self-reflection, and provide practical tips you can implement right away. Let’s take this journey together towards becoming the most confident version of ourselves.
1. Understanding the Role of Daily Habits in Building Confidence
Before we explore specific habits, it’s important to recognise why daily habits are essential in building confidence. Confidence isn’t something that manifests from a single event or accomplishment; it is the cumulative result of small, consistent actions over time. When you engage in daily habits that reinforce your self-worth and capabilities, you’re laying the groundwork for long-term confidence.
Take the story of Angela Merkel, the former Chancellor of Germany. Merkel led the country through one of its most challenging periods, maintaining composure and strength even when faced with immense pressure. Her confidence wasn’t something that developed overnight—it was the result of years of consistent, deliberate actions. Merkel’s approach to leadership was one of preparation and discipline. She paid close attention to detail, worked tirelessly on understanding the issues she was dealing with, and approached every challenge with calm determination. Her confidence came from knowing she had done the work.
Merkel once said, “I am always learning from everything I do. I don’t believe in a rigid mindset; the world is constantly changing, and I must adapt to it.” Her success as a world leader was built on daily habits of learning, reflection, and preparation, all of which reinforced her belief in her abilities.
Questions for Reflection:
- What daily habits am I currently practising that contribute to my confidence, and which ones might be undermining it
- How can I begin to shift my daily routine to include habits that empower me rather than hinder me?
Actionable Tip:
Identify one or two habits that are part of your current daily routine. Which of these contribute to your confidence, and which may be undermining it? Start small by making slight adjustments, replacing negative behaviours with positive, confidence-boosting actions.
2. The Power of Positive Self-Talk
The way you speak to yourself has a profound impact on your confidence. Your inner dialogue can either build you up or tear you down. If your thoughts are consistently self-critical or negative, you’ll find it hard to feel confident. On the other hand, if you practise positive self-talk, you’ll reinforce your belief in yourself and your abilities.
Let’s take inspiration from Malala Yousafzai, the youngest-ever Nobel Prize laureate. Malala’s activism for girls’ education in Pakistan put her in extreme danger, culminating in a violent attack by the Taliban. Yet, despite the challenges and threats she faced, Malala’s inner voice remained positive and strong. She believed deeply in her mission and her ability to make a difference. In her own words, “When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful.” Malala’s ability to maintain positive self-talk in the face of adversity is a testament to how empowering our inner dialogue can be.
Questions for Reflection:
- What are the most common thoughts you have about yourself? Are they positive or negative?
- How often do you criticise yourself internally?
- What phrases or affirmations can you introduce to counteract your negative self-talk?
Actionable Tip:
Start each day by saying three positive affirmations about yourself. These could be simple statements like, “I am capable,” or “I deserve success.” By consistently reinforcing these thoughts, you’ll gradually shift your mindset to one that supports and nurtures your confidence.
3. Embracing Failure as a Learning Opportunity
Failure is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to damage your confidence. In fact, when approached correctly, failure can be a powerful tool for building resilience and self-assurance. The key is to reframe failure not as an end, but as a step in the process of learning and growing.
Walt Disney’s story is an excellent example of how to use failure to fuel confidence. Before building his media empire, Disney faced several significant setbacks, including bankruptcy and being fired from a newspaper job for “lacking creativity.” Instead of giving up, Disney viewed each failure as an opportunity to learn, refine his vision, and try again. He famously said, “All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. You may not realise it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
Disney’s persistence in the face of failure eventually led him to create one of the most successful entertainment companies in the world. His confidence was built on the knowledge that failure was not a reflection of his ability, but a necessary part of the journey.
Questions for Reflection:
- How do you currently perceive failure?
- What lessons can you take from a recent failure and apply to future challenges?
- How can you reframe your mindset to view setbacks as stepping stones rather than dead ends?
Actionable Tip:
The next time you experience failure, take a moment to reflect on what went wrong. Write down the lessons you’ve learned and how you can use them to improve in the future. This simple act of reflection can turn failure into a confidence-building opportunity.
4. Setting and Achieving Small, Measurable Goals
Confidence is built incrementally, often through the accomplishment of small, measurable goals. While large, ambitious goals are important, it’s the smaller, more attainable goals that create momentum and reinforce your belief in your ability to succeed.
Consider the career of Haruki Murakami, one of Japan’s most renowned authors. Murakami didn’t set out to become a literary icon overnight. His success was the result of setting small, manageable goals and steadily working towards them. Murakami’s approach to writing is highly disciplined—he writes for several hours each day, never overextending himself. His ability to break down his larger goals into small, achievable steps has allowed him to build a remarkable body of work over time.
Murakami’s philosophy can be summed up in his quote, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” This mindset of focusing on the process, rather than the pressure of immediate success, allowed him to cultivate confidence in his writing abilities.
Questions for Reflection:
- What is one small goal you can set today that aligns with your larger aspirations?
- How can breaking down big goals into smaller steps help you feel more confident in your ability to succeed?
Actionable Tip:
Choose one small, specific goal that you can achieve within the next week. It could be completing a chapter of a book, beginning a new exercise routine, or learning a new skill. As you accomplish each small goal, take a moment to celebrate your success—this will help build momentum and reinforce your confidence.
5. Surrounding Yourself with Positive Influences
The people you surround yourself with can either lift you up or pull you down. Confidence thrives in environments filled with support, encouragement, and positivity. If you’re constantly surrounded by negativity, it can be difficult to maintain a strong sense of self-worth.
Take Richard Branson, the founder of the Virgin Group, as an example. Branson is known for his adventurous, confident spirit, but he didn’t achieve his success alone. He attributes much of his confidence to the people he surrounds himself with—individuals who share his vision, encourage his ideas, and push him to take risks. Branson once said, “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” By creating an environment filled with positive influences, Branson was able to take bold risks and pursue ambitious goals with confidence.
Questions for Reflection:
- Who are the key people in your life?
- Do these individuals support and encourage your growth, or do they hold you back?
- How can you create a more positive environment for yourself?
Actionable Tip:
Take a moment to evaluate your social circle. Identify the people who consistently support and uplift you, and make a conscious effort to spend more time with them. If there are individuals who consistently bring negativity into your life, consider setting boundaries or limiting your interactions. Creating a positive environment is crucial for building and maintaining confidence.
6. Practising Gratitude Daily
Gratitude is a powerful habit that shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have. When you practise gratitude, you’re reinforcing a sense of abundance and appreciation, which naturally boosts your confidence. Recognising your strengths, achievements, and the positives in your life builds a foundation of self-worth.
Consider Jim Carrey’s story. Long before he became a household name, Carrey was struggling financially and facing constant rejection in his acting career. Yet, despite these challenges, Carrey maintained a practice of gratitude. He famously wrote himself a cheque for $10 million for “acting services rendered” and dated it for 1995, keeping it in his wallet as a daily reminder of his goals. This act of visualisation and gratitude helped Carrey stay focused on his dreams and maintain his confidence, even when things seemed bleak. By 1995, Carrey was earning over $10 million per film.
Questions for Reflection:
- What are three things you’re grateful for today?
- How does practising gratitude change your perspective on your life and abilities?
- How can you make gratitude a part of your daily routine?
Actionable Tip:
Start a gratitude journal. Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for—these can be big or small. Over time, you’ll find that practising gratitude helps you focus on the positives in your life, which will naturally enhance your confidence.
7. Investing in Self-Care
Self-care is essential for building and maintaining confidence. When you take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, you’re sending a message to yourself that you are worth the time and effort. Self-care can take many forms, from physical activities like exercise and healthy eating to mental practices like meditation and setting boundaries.
Take the example of Lizzo, a Grammy Award-winning artist who is known not only for her music but also for her advocacy of self-love and body positivity. Lizzo is a strong advocate for self-care, and she has often spoken about how it has been instrumental in building her confidence. Despite facing criticism and public scrutiny, Lizzo prioritises activities that help her stay grounded, including daily affirmations, meditation, and physical exercise. She has said, “Self-care is in the little moments—when you choose to laugh instead of cry, or when you say no to something you don’t want to do.”
Questions for Reflection:
- How often do you make time for self-care?
- What activities make you feel rejuvenated and confident?
- How can you incorporate more self-care into your daily routine?
Actionable Tip:
Identify one self-care activity that makes you feel good—whether it’s taking a walk, reading a book, or meditating for 10 minutes. Make this activity a non-negotiable part of your daily routine. Your confidence will grow as you consistently show yourself the care and respect you deserve.
8. Committing to Lifelong Learning
Confidence comes from competence, and competence is built through continuous learning. When you commit to expanding your knowledge and skills, you’re not only improving yourself but also reinforcing your belief in your ability to grow and adapt.
Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and author of Lean In, is a strong advocate for lifelong learning. Throughout her career, Sandberg has consistently sought out new opportunities for growth, whether by taking on new responsibilities, learning from mentors, or educating herself about the changing landscape of technology and business. Sandberg once said, “We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” By embracing the habit of continuous learning, Sandberg has built a career marked by confidence and adaptability.
Questions for Reflection:
- What new skills or knowledge can you acquire to boost your confidence?
- How can you make learning a regular part of your daily routine?
- What topics or areas of interest excite you and motivate you to grow?
Actionable Tip:
Commit to learning something new each day. Whether it’s reading a chapter of a book, taking an online course, or listening to a podcast, make continuous learning a daily habit. As you expand your knowledge and skills, you’ll notice a significant increase in your confidence.
Recommended Resources
To support your journey towards building unshakable confidence, here are three powerful books you should consider reading:
- “The Confidence Code” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
This book explores the science behind confidence, offering practical strategies to help you build genuine self-assurance. - “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck
Dr. Dweck’s work on growth vs. fixed mindsets is essential for anyone looking to transform their approach to challenges, failure, and ultimately, confidence. - “Atomic Habits” by James Clear
A practical guide to building effective habits that can lead to monumental change in your life. Clear breaks down how small, consistent actions can improve confidence and overall growth.
For more tools, insights, and resources to support your personal development, visit my resources page. You’ll find curated recommendations to help you continue your journey toward unshakable confidence.
Summing Up
Building unshakable confidence is not a one-time achievement—it’s a journey that requires daily effort, reflection, and growth. By integrating these habits into your routine, you’ll lay a strong foundation for long-lasting confidence. Remember, confidence is not about being the best; it’s about believing in yourself and knowing that you’re capable of achieving greatness.
Take these habits and make them your own. Your journey to unshakable confidence starts today.
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