Getting Real About Your Desires: Setting Authentic Intentions that Actually Resonate

As we step towards 2025, many of us find ourselves caught up in a familiar routine: we write down lofty goals, declare life-changing resolutions, and promise ourselves that this time, everything will be different. But all too often, we feel disconnected from these very intentions we set. It’s as though we’ve adopted them from someone else’s manual, and we’re too busy, too tired, or too uncertain to delve deeper into what we truly want.

If you’re a busy, everyday woman—perhaps juggling a career, a family, and a sea of never-ending to-do lists—you know how precious your time and energy are. You don’t want yet another self-improvement lecture that feels too grand, too complicated, or too detached from your reality. You want guidance that’s simple, realistic, and actionable, and that helps you finally peel back the layers of external pressures and noise to find your own authentic truth.

This blog post is for you. In the next few thousand words, we’ll talk through what it means to set intentions that genuinely resonate with who you are at this stage of your life. We’ll discuss how to stop taking on other people’s dreams, unmask the goals that are actually meaningful to you, and translate them into daily actions that feel empowering rather than burdensome. We’ll explore how to bring clarity to your authentic desires so that you can face 2025 feeling energised, focused, and genuinely committed to what matters most to you.

As a qualified life coach, my mission is to help women—especially those between 30 and 50—transform their relationship with personal growth. I believe in a style of personal development that’s grounded in real life, not magazine-perfect fantasy. And I want you to walk away from this post knowing that you’re not alone on this journey. If you find this helpful, I invite you to explore the resources on my Resources Page and consider working with me as we head into 2025 and beyond. Let’s design a life that doesn’t just look good on paper, but feels good to live.

Why Authentic Intentions Matter

In a world where social media sets the bar on what success “should” look like, it’s easy to confuse other people’s achievements with our own desires. We’re bombarded with images and stories of individuals ticking off major milestones—starting a business, running a marathon, building a dream house—and it can feel like we’re expected to want the same things.

But here’s the truth: not everyone wants to run a marathon, launch a multi-million-pound start-up, or have an Instagram-perfect home. Your authentic desires are as unique as your fingerprints. They don’t have to mirror what your friends want, what your family expects, or what society portrays as ideal. When you set intentions that come from your deepest values and genuine dreams, you’re infinitely more likely to stay motivated and see them through. Why? Because they mean something to you. They’re rooted in your identity, your priorities, and the life you truly want.

Women in their 30s and 40s often find themselves at a crossroads. Perhaps you’re firmly established in your career but feeling restless. Maybe your children are older, and you suddenly have a bit more time to consider your own needs. Or maybe you’re feeling the strain of having neglected your personal growth for too long, and you’re ready for a change. Authentic intentions can serve as your compass, guiding you through these transitions with purpose and clarity.

The Difference Between Goals and Intentions

Before we move further, let’s clarify something important: goals and intentions are not the same. Goals tend to be specific outcomes you want to achieve—like earning a certain amount of money, losing a set number of pounds, or completing a particular project by a deadline. They’re measurable and often future-focused.

Intentions, on the other hand, are more about your guiding principles, the way you choose to show up in your life every day. Intentions are about how you want to feel, who you want to become, and the qualities you wish to cultivate within yourself. They’re more about the process than the end result. Intentions help you anchor into the present moment, ensuring that whatever steps you take are aligned with your authentic values and desires.

By understanding this difference, you free yourself from the pressure of checking boxes and can instead embrace a more holistic and meaningful approach to personal growth. When you set intentions that resonate, your goals emerge naturally as stepping stones rather than forced tasks.

Getting Honest: Peeling Back the Layers of External Pressure

Setting intentions that truly resonate begins with a deep, honest conversation with yourself. Here’s a simple exercise: find a quiet moment—maybe after the kids have gone to bed, or before your morning coffee—and ask yourself these questions:

1. What do I really want?
   Not what you think you should want, but what truly calls to you. If you remove the influence of family expectations, cultural norms, and social media, what remains?
2. Why do I want this?
   Dig deeper into your motivation. Are you aiming for something because it genuinely excites you or because you think it will make you more acceptable to others?
3. How do I want to feel?
   Instead of focusing on what you must achieve, consider the emotional states you want to experience. Do you want more calm, confidence, creativity, or connection in your life?

It might feel uncomfortable at first. You may uncover desires that surprise you or contradict what you’ve always assumed about yourself. But discomfort is often a sign that you’re getting to the heart of what matters. Consider journaling your responses. Often, writing them down can bring clarity and reveal patterns you hadn’t noticed before.

Real-Life Example: Claire’s Shift to Authentic Intentions

Let’s consider Claire, a 42-year-old marketing executive and mother of two. For years, Claire would set annual goals that looked good on paper: get a promotion, lose 10 pounds, renovate the kitchen, start a side business. She thought ticking these boxes would give her a sense of accomplishment and justify the sacrifices she was making—long working hours, missed family dinners, and constant stress.

But by the time she reached autumn each year, Claire felt burnt out. Her goals felt heavy, more like demands than dreams. When she finally reached out for coaching, I asked Claire to take a step back and consider what she truly desired for her life, not just what she thought she “should” do. After some gentle probing, Claire admitted that what she really wanted wasn’t a fancy promotion or a sparkling new kitchen—it was more peace. She craved quality time with her family, creative expression outside her job, and a sense of balance and self-acceptance.

With this newfound clarity, Claire set a different kind of intention for the coming year. Instead of “I must get promoted,” she committed to “I will prioritise my emotional well-being.” Instead of “I must lose 10 pounds,” she embraced “I will treat my body with kindness and respect.” And instead of “I must start a side business,” she chose “I will make time for my creative interests.”

Over time, Claire found that these intentions guided her decisions in more authentic ways. She negotiated a flexible work schedule, found joy in evening drawing classes, and created a more supportive routine around healthy meals without punishing herself. As a result, Claire’s life felt more meaningful, balanced, and genuinely her own.

Steps to Discovering Your Authentic Intentions

Ready to uncover your own authentic intentions for 2025? Here are some practical steps:

1. Create Space for Reflection:
   Find a quiet corner in your home or a café you love and dedicate 30 minutes to uninterrupted self-reflection. Turn off your phone if you can, or at least put it on silent. Sit with a notebook and pen, and simply write down whatever comes to mind when you think of the year ahead. This isn’t about filtering yourself yet; it’s about allowing your true desires to surface.
2. Practice Compassionate Honesty:
   As you write, suspend judgment. It’s okay if you realise you don’t actually want that high-powered career path your friends admire. It’s okay if you discover you’d prefer to spend your mornings on yoga rather than joining the local running club everyone’s raving about. The goal is to get honest, without the weight of external approval.
3. Identify Themes and Values:
   Review what you wrote and look for patterns. Do certain words or ideas repeat themselves? Are you drawn towards themes like creativity, connection, nature, learning, or health? These recurring themes can guide you towards intentions that feel deeply authentic.
4. Link Intentions to Feelings:
   For each theme you identify, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel when I act on this intention?” For example, if you discovered that you value ‘family time’, maybe your intention becomes “I will cultivate warmth and connection in my family life.” This shifts your focus from a checklist (e.g., “Spend two hours more per week with my kids”) to a feeling that can guide your daily decisions.
5. Create a Supportive Environment:
   Authentic intentions thrive in a supportive environment. Consider what changes you need to make in your surroundings, schedule, or relationships to align with your intentions. If you want more peace and calm, maybe you need a morning routine that involves a short meditation or a cosy nook at home where you can read in silence.

Turning Authentic Intentions into Actionable Steps

One potential misconception about setting intentions is that they’re “soft” goals—vague wishes that don’t lead to tangible outcomes. The truth is, intentions are the foundation of meaningful action. Once you’ve set an authentic intention, you can design small, specific steps that help you live that intention daily.

For example, if your intention is “I will prioritise my emotional well-being,” you might commit to:

• Daily 5-minute check-ins: Taking a few minutes each morning and evening to gauge your mood and energy levels, acknowledging your feelings without judgment.
• One nurturing activity a week: This could be a long bath, a craft class, a massage—anything that brings you joy and relaxation.
• Setting boundaries at work: Perhaps you log off emails after 7 pm or take a proper lunch break each day.

Over time, these small steps add up. They become habits that reinforce your intention, making it easier to stay aligned with what matters most to you. The idea isn’t to overload yourself with a lengthy to-do list, but to create a manageable, sustainable action plan that honours your intention without becoming a source of stress.

Overcoming Common Obstacles

When we first set authentic intentions, we might encounter resistance. Old habits die hard, and external pressures don’t just vanish overnight. But being prepared for these challenges can help you navigate them gracefully.

Obstacle 1: Fear of Disapproval
You might worry about what others will think if your intentions diverge from the norm. Maybe your friends expect you to climb the corporate ladder, or your partner assumes you’ll keep hustling nonstop. Overcoming this fear involves a gentle reminder: you’re allowed to want what you want. Authenticity sometimes means disappointing others’ expectations, and that’s okay. In the long run, living in alignment with your values will benefit both you and the people around you.

Obstacle 2: Imposter Syndrome
Setting intentions that feel big or different can trigger self-doubt. You might think, “Who am I to want this?” or “I’m not that kind of person.” Recognise these thoughts as just that—thoughts. They’re not facts. With every small step you take towards your intention, you build evidence that you are capable and deserving of the life you’re designing.

Obstacle 3: Lack of Time
As a busy woman, time is precious. Authentic intentions shouldn’t feel like additional burdens on your schedule. Instead, see them as guiding principles that help you choose what to stop doing as much as what to start. Look for opportunities to streamline tasks, delegate where possible, and prioritise activities that nourish your well-being. Intentions are about living more meaningfully, not adding more items to your plate.

Obstacle 4: Old Habits and Patterns
If your intention is to cultivate calm, but you have a long-standing habit of checking emails right before bed, you’ll need to gradually reshape your routine. Change takes time, and it’s natural to slip up occasionally. Be patient with yourself. Every time you return to your intention, you strengthen it. Over weeks and months, you’ll find the old habits hold less sway, and the new ones feel more natural.

Embracing the Process, Not Just the Outcome

One of the most liberating aspects of authentic intentions is that they’re not rigid targets you either achieve or fail at. Instead, they provide a guiding light that helps you make choices aligned with your core desires. This perspective allows you to celebrate progress rather than berate yourself for perceived shortcomings.

Imagine your intention is to feel more energised and alive in 2025. Even if you don’t check every single box—maybe you never joined that gym you were considering, or you didn’t master a new hobby—you can still celebrate the fact that you chose to take a brisk walk each morning, or you tried a new recipe that made you feel vibrant and strong. The journey itself becomes meaningful, and the small wins become stepping stones towards a fuller life.

This shift in perspective can be hugely empowering. It’s not about reaching a finish line; it’s about consistently steering yourself towards a state of being that feels right for you. As you practise embracing the process, you’ll likely notice your confidence growing. You’re no longer measured solely by outcomes, but by the authenticity of your efforts and the quality of your daily life.

Why 2025 Is the Perfect Year to Get Real

Why focus on authentic intentions now, as we approach 2025? Because there’s a collective sense of turning a page. The past few years have challenged our assumptions about work, relationships, and what really matters. Many of us emerged with a new appreciation for living in alignment with our values, rather than simply adhering to old patterns.

If the last few years taught us anything, it’s that life is unpredictable and precious. Setting authentic intentions allows you to respond to life’s changes from a place of inner clarity, rather than reacting to external chaos. It’s about designing a future where you feel at home with yourself, regardless of what’s happening around you.

Making a Difference: How Authentic Intentions Impact Others

Living authentically isn’t selfish. In fact, it often has a positive ripple effect on the people around you. When you show up feeling aligned, energised, and at peace with yourself, you’re better able to support others. You have more patience, more empathy, and more genuine enthusiasm for life’s everyday moments.

Your friends and family will notice the difference. They may be inspired by your authenticity and start questioning their own intentions. Your children, if you have them, learn by watching you. When they see you living in a way that respects your truth and honours your well-being, they’re more likely to grow into adults who do the same.

On a larger scale, collective authenticity can lead to communities and workplaces that value honesty, compassion, and personal growth. By prioritising authentic intentions, you’re contributing to a healthier, more conscious world—one small decision at a time.

From Thought to Action: Creating Your Own Authentic Intentions Workbook

If you’ve read this far, chances are you’re ready to get hands-on. Consider creating your own “Authentic Intentions Workbook” for 2025. It doesn’t have to be fancy—a simple notebook or a Word document will do. Here are some sections you might include:

1. Personal Values and Core Beliefs:
   Write down the principles that matter most to you—kindness, creativity, freedom, family, growth, balance, joy. Revisit this list regularly.
2. Vision for 2025:
   Envision your ideal life in 2025. How do you spend your mornings? How do you interact with others? What activities fill your week?
3. Intentions Aligned with Feelings:
   Based on your vision, craft intentions that focus on feelings and states of being. For example:
   • “I will embrace curiosity and continuous learning.”
   • “I will create moments of joy and lightness daily.”
   • “I will nurture meaningful connections with loved ones.”
4. Actionable Steps:
   For each intention, brainstorm a few small actions that support it. Make sure these are doable within your current life. If your intention is “I will nurture meaningful connections,” maybe you commit to calling a friend once a week or organising a monthly family board game night.
5. Progress Check-Ins:
   Set aside time once a month to review your workbook. Note what’s working, what feels challenging, and any new insights that have emerged. This is a living document, and your intentions can evolve as you grow.
6. Inspirations and Resources:
   Include quotes, links, or references that inspire you. Browse the Resources Page for tools that resonate. A favourite meditation app, a podcast episode, or a workbook can act as a steady anchor.
7. Recommended Book: For further inspiration, consider reading “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. This empowering guide focuses on identifying how you want to feel in life and then using those feelings to shape your actions, intentions, and long-term goals—perfect for continuing the work you’ve begun here.

Summing Up: Embrace Authentic Intentions and Step into 2025 with Confidence

We’ve covered a lot of ground in this post—from understanding the difference between goals and intentions to exploring how to uncover what you genuinely want, to turning those discoveries into actionable plans. You’ve learned about common obstacles and how to overcome them, the importance of using supportive resources, and the potential ripple effect of living authentically.

As you move towards 2025, remember this: authenticity is not a luxury reserved for those with endless free time. It’s a necessity for anyone who wants to live fully, courageously, and in harmony with their core self. You deserve intentions that resonate with who you truly are. You deserve a life that feels meaningful—not just on the surface, but deep within your soul.

So, take a deep breath. Let go of what you think you should want, and open yourself up to the truth of what you do want. Embrace your authentic intentions, start small, and watch how these gentle shifts evolve into profound changes. Your future self will thank you.

And if you find you need a bit more guidance along the way, don’t hesitate to explore my Resources Page or reach out to learn more about how we could work together. Let’s create a 2025 that feels like it was designed uniquely for you—because it should be.

Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re ready to transform your intentions into reality, consider booking a coaching session. Together, we can move beyond external pressures, uncover your authentic desires, and set the stage for a truly fulfilling year ahead. You have the power to design a life that resonates with your heart—let’s make it happen.